From Hart to Hearts
A Message from Rev Linda Hart for the month of August 2009
This I Believe
In June, several members and friends of the Richmond and Putney Unitarian Church participated in a series of workshops about belief. Modelled on the American radio programme of the same name (www.thisibelieve.org), participants were invited to think about their beliefs and what has inspired them by writing short essays about personal experiences and the truth that they learned from them. What follows is one of the essays I wrote during the series.
I Believe I Should Never Take Myself Too Seriously
They were as sorry a couple as I had ever seen. She was overweight and awkward, he was too thin and short and prone to nervous ticks. But they were getting married and I was the minister. They told me that it was the first serious relationship for both of them, neither had ever really dated. He was fresh out of the Army, and had never lived alone. His mother had died before he finished his tour of duty, and he was on his own. It seemed clear, too, that she thought he was her last chance.
The wedding was dismal. Hot and humid as only the Washington, DC area can be in August. She was in a shapeless bag of cheap satin, and the stress had caused her face to go spotty. Thick makeup only made that more obvious. He was in a badly fitting suit and the beads of sweat kept pouring off his face, his hands were entirely soaked with nervous sweat.
The bride’s uncle videotaped the whole service over my right shoulder. Still too young to know how to stop him, I just let it go. The whole day was miserable and I couldn’t escape fast enough once it was done. Two sadder folks I couldn’t have imagined.
But years later, a cheque arrived from her parents with a note. Thanks for what you did to make their start, it read. They’re moving nearby and the grandchildren are treasures we couldn’t have imagined. They are happy and healthy and living in love.
It was as gentle a rebuke as I could have received. Their love gave them life and happiness that overwhelmed my judgement. And more happiness in the world because of it. I try to remember this whenever I find myself drawn to think I know better or more, or have a vaulted view of what’s right and good in the world.
I believe I should never take myself too seriously.